I feel cold, too many words coming in,
a mind that knows not thyself.
Sold templates glutton with breath
many, weighing as much as one.
How does one stone folly a pyramid when
many took years to build?
I plead to sand domes, "Soothe my mortar and
fiercely blow the crumbling stones belonging to one."
One on top of the other, paying homage to the seal
whispering, "What did I build?"
They know no difference
but I can feel the debris.
The air is not still.
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6 comments:
Thanks for leaving your link and opinion - you have a great writing style, very relaxing and fun to read!!
- Stephanie
http://journals.aol.com/stephaniebambam/bambam
I was able to see the print better tonight so read down through your journal. Your writing style reminds me of writers like Tony Morrison. I have struggled a lot with her novels, but if you hang in there, there are rewards. I used to feel the same about William Faulkner's style back when. I never did know what was going on in "Light in August" but some of his others became favorites. So stick with your style and keep honing it. That's what makes your entries about current events and personalities so interesting, because of your poetic turn of the phrase. I love that kind of novel. When you add plot and character to some of these random thoughts connected, then you will gradually acquire the writing muscle that will cause appreciative readers to stick with you. I heard some music but it stopped and started. I consulted technical help over this problem and they said it happened when there was too much clutter, which could easily disrupt sound. I would seek technical help. They gave me step by step instructions, but I got to find someone who is more experienced before I start pushing buttons, especially the delete! I once deleted some of my operating system and crippled my going power in my old computer. Gerry
I agree with Gerry, your prose has the complexity of morrison or Faulkner, but it isn't copy of either, you have your own unique voice. Your writing is multi-layered and I find that very enticing.--Sheria
http://journals.aol.com/aimer/on-my-mind/
I haven't read anything on Faulkner or Morrison with the exception of reviews and a few quotes from their work. I know they write with symbolism which I do as well. I think from what I have read, Faulkner is far more complex and frustrates the reader. I think with one read you can get an idea of what I am saying where Faulkner it takes some serious digging to even begin to interpret. I do enjoy mystery. I feel mystery opens the gap to more interpretation's by the reader. Symbolism and the word puzzles does require some digging by the reader but I support that because I feel you see more that way. When its laid out without any searching, the piece is written with a meaning shared by many where with mine, it does have a voice for whom is reading. Yet, its not too open. My random thoughts doesn't mean anything and everything. There is an area of thought that's consistent. I will have to read more about them and Kant. Someone told me my writings remind them of Kant too. -Raven
Sheria and Gerry, I wasn't sure if I had enough room in my last post so with another comment, I wanted to say thank you both for your input. I respect your minds and any criticism by either of you so I am grateful for your feedback. I do have an idea of what I am doing but I dont think there is a box for it as of yet. It is different and not for everyone. As time goes on maybe it will evolve into something totally different. I would love that as I improve or fine tune what I feel, fits me like a glove.
Gerry had mentioned adding characters and plot. If I ever decide to write a novel I will. Random Thoughts isn't story telling...Its not "once upon a time..its dialogue, prose, symbolism and a poetic twist to solve. I think of my writings have a style of Shakespeare. Not equating me in any way with this exceedingly gifted man but its a dialogue from the writer to the reader. Shakespeare requires digging but you enjoy his writing format so much, its a labor to love. I would love it if the reader read them as if I was saying it in a conversation. I am hoping this is what is happening. Maybe one day I will write a novel but that takes time and commitment and I seem to have little of both these days. -Raven
Whew! I can see I'm going to over stay my visitor's pass. The security gaurds in my mind keep tugging on my arm and telling me it is time to go, I've been exporing your journal way too long. But the Mind-Candy I find in your journal keeps me wandering around like in a museum: a repository of interesting objects connected with literature, art or science. Lets replace the "or" with "and". Raven's Museum. The Mind-Candy I've found here exploring your journal just won't let me go. I hope what I read when I first entered your journal about how you were going to shift priorities and do less blogging becomes a deleted statement in your thoughts. Your writing is eloquent and whats more the variety is diverse. I need to thank Aimer for providing the link to your journal and hope you continue to pursue your writing.
It is indeed a treasure chest of creativity. This is one subperb, interesting journal to enjoy!
RIVER
http://journal.aol.com/riverhsharki/JESUSLOVESYOU/
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